If you consume negative or unrealistic content every single day, this blog is for you.

Girl, let me be real with you.

Instead of consuming content and then moving on with your own life, what most people do is sit there thinking:

“Oh my God, this happened to The Wizard Liz… then who am I?”

But here’s the truth:
You are you.

You are not the influencer you watch every day.
You are not their life, their routine, their relationship, or their personality.

And you need to respect that.

Her life became what it is because of the decisions she made, the experiences she had, and the situations she went through. You are not living the same life. You have your own experiences, your own trauma, your own journey.

But instead of simply listening to advice and continuing with your own life, you start associating yourself with them so deeply that you begin living their life vicariously.

And honestly? I understand why.

You feel like they’re more powerful, more beautiful, more mature, more respected… and suddenly your own life starts feeling smaller in comparison.

Reel Life vs Real Life

This happens to me too.

As a YouTuber, girls often ask me:

• what I eat,

• my skincare routine,

• how I met my boyfriend,

• how I stay productive,

• everything.

And yes, sometimes I share parts of my life.

But I always remind people of one important thing:

Your life is completely different from mine.

Just because someone looks like they have everything figured out online doesn’t mean their real life is perfect.

People only show what they want you to see.

For example, I always show my real skin online. But many influencers don’t. 

Some wake up with filters, perfect lighting, makeup, editing, and curated angles and if you consume that content every single day, your brain slowly starts believing that this is normal.

It’s not.

I Fell Into the Trap Too

I’m not saying this as someone who is above all of this.

I’ve literally spent ₹3,000 on skincare products just because influencers on reels convinced me I “needed” them.

And half the time? I didn’t even know whether those products were right for my skin type.

I was just emotionally influenced by good lighting, confidence, aesthetics, and comments saying:

“OMG this changed my life.”

That’s when I realized something important:

Social media doesn’t just sell products it sells insecurity first.

The moment you feel like something is wrong with you, the internet suddenly has a product ready to “fix” it.

You’re Being Influenced More Than You Think

You start getting influenced by:

• their products,

• their routines,

• their habits,

• their lifestyle.

And yes, sometimes something works because of the placebo effect.
But not everything works for everyone.

You need to understand that everybody is different.

Your skin is different.
Your hair is different.
Your body is different.
Your mental health is different.

Do your own research.
Find what works for your skin tone, your skin condition, your hair type, your lifestyle.

But instead, people blindly trust someone with 100K followers because they think numbers equal authority.

That’s nonsense.

If someone works hard enough, understands marketing, and knows how to position themselves online, they can gain followers too.

Followers are not qualifications.

Start De-Influencing Your Mind

So when I say authority does not equal follower count, I want you to truly understand it.

Stop getting influenced by every confident person on the internet and start using your brain critically.

If someone says:

“This product removes blackheads in one wash!”

Ask:

• How?

• What ingredients are responsible?

• What’s the scientific explanation?

• Will it work for all skin types?

Don’t just nod your head and accept everything.

Ask questions.

And once you start asking the right questions, you’ll notice something interesting:

• your comments might get deleted,

• people might troll you,

• or you’ll receive vague answers.

And honestly?
I’ll let you figure out why.

Marketing Is Designed to Influence You

I understand marketing from miles away because I’m a marketer too.

I understand how people position themselves online.
I understand how products are sold.
I understand emotional triggers.

And I want you to know this clearly:

A lot of online content is designed to make you feel inadequate so you buy something.

That’s the trap.

If someone promises to “fix your life in 21 days,” run.

Real growth takes time.
Real healing takes time.
Real confidence takes time.

Not All Influencers Are Bad

Now, after everything I said, I also want you to understand this:

Not all influencers are fake.

Some genuinely want to help people.
Some truly care.
And honestly, those people are rare gems.

Support those creators.

How to Identify Genuine Influencers

They usually:

• don’t promote products they’ve never used,

• don’t recommend 10 “favorite” sunscreens in one week,

• don’t tell everyone to quit their jobs and become content creators,

• don’t manipulate your insecurities for engagement,

• don’t waste your time with empty motivational speeches.

They educate more than they manipulate.

Stay Awake. Ask Questions.

Always keep your eyes open.

No matter how “woke” someone sounds online, always ask:

• Does this make sense?

• Is there proof?

• Is this realistic?

• Does this actually apply to my life?

As someone who has worked with 50+ clients in marketing, I want to tell you something honestly:

The influencer lifestyle is a choice.
And every choice comes with a different reality behind the scenes.

If you’re not a creator, that does not mean you’re doing less in life.

Please stop glorifying internet lifestyles so much that your own life starts feeling meaningless.

You are already doing enough.

And your “enough” does not need to look like someone else’s “enough.”

The internet profits from your insecurity. Protect your mind like you protect your money.

On that note, I’ll see you in the next post.

We’ve all heard it, “Looks don’t matter.” But let’s be honest that’s not entirely true.

Looks do matter… just not in the way social media makes you believe.

Pretty Privilege Is Real (But It Has Limits)

Let’s not deny reality.

Attractive people often:

• Get more attention

• Have an easier time on dating apps

• Are perceived more positively

This is what we call pretty privilege.

But here’s the catch:

Attention is not the same as connection.

Looking good might open doors but it doesn’t guarantee anyone will stay.

Looks Might Get You Matches for a Temporary Life

On apps like Hinge or Tinder, the first thing people notice is your face. That’s just how it works.

But what happens after the match? That’s where most people struggle. People match, they talk, and then they realize the person doesn’t align with their vibe.

No one can bear a shitty attitude just because someone is beautiful.

Long-term relationships depend on things like:

• Emotional maturity

• Shared values

• Communication

• Life goals

You can be incredibly attractive and still fail to build something meaningful.

Looks can start a conversation but personality is what keeps it going. That’s why it’s important to work on your personality as much as you work on your looks.

You Can Be Perfect on the Outside and Still Wrong for Someone

You can meet someone who is:

• Good-looking

• Confident

• Charming

And still feel… nothing. Or worse feel incompatible.

Why?

Because attraction isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, intellectual, and personal.

Someone can be “perfect on paper” but completely wrong for your personality.

You might see a man and think, “He’s the hottest person on the planet!” but then realize he’s totally different from you which is completely understandable.

Personality Is What People Remember

Over time, looks fade or at least, they stop being the main focus.

What stays?

• How someone treats you

• How they handle conflict

• How they make you feel on your worst days

That’s what builds a real connection.

You don’t fall in love with a face. It can be the first point of attraction, but you fall in love with a person.

Stop Letting Social Media Define Your Worth

Social media has completely distorted how we see beauty.

Filters, editing, and unrealistic standards make you feel like:

• You’re not attractive enough

• You need to “fix” yourself

• Your value depends on your appearance

But here’s the truth:

Your worth is not your face.

If you’ve seen my YouTube channel, you know how I look. Am I too beautiful, perfect, or flawless? No. I’m an average-looking Indian girl.

But you connect with me because of my videos, how I talk, my character, and my behavior.

And that’s what actually lasts.

The Right Person Sees Beyond Your Appearance

When you meet the right person, you will see things shift in life.

They don’t just notice:

• Your looks

• Your style

They notice:

• Your thoughts

• Your habits

• Your energy

And most importantly they value those things.

The right person doesn’t stay because you’re attractive. They stay because you’re you.

So What Really Matters in the Long Run?

Taking care of your appearance is important. It shows self-love. And yes, we all are self-love girlies.

But if that’s all you invest in, your relationships will stay surface-level.

What truly attracts a genuine, loving partner is:

• Emotional depth

• Self-awareness

• Kindness

• Growth

Because at the end of the day:

A beautiful face might catch attention but a strong personality builds love.

Build Who You Are, Not Just How You Look

Looks can open the door.

But personality decides whether someone walks in and stays.

So instead of asking:

“Am I attractive enough for a relationship?”

Start asking:

“Am I someone worth connecting with?”

That’s the difference between temporary attention and real love.

And I really, really want to experience with you real love, real depth in a relationship.

If you’ve been on social media lately, you’ve probably seen it everywhere:

• Date the person who has these green flags.

• Don’t date the person with these red flags.

• Run from the person who has these flags.

I understand, we are concerned and we don’t want to get harmed, and it’s important to know what kind of things to avoid in a relationship. But tbh, this flags thing about guys is turning into a checklist. And honestly? It’s starting to do more harm than good.

The Problem with Labeling People as “Green” or “Red Flags”

Let’s be real, this trend didn’t come out of nowhere. We see influencers constantly using these terms in one video, two videos, and basically every video now.

Influencers push these labels because:

• These topics are important to us. It makes us vulnerable: “Don’t date the guy with these red flags!” We start feeling, oh no, we have to get this information to save ourselves.

• These videos make us react, save them, and make the connection of this video with our real-life situations.

• And yes… they make money off this vulnerability.

But here’s the issue: these rigid definitions create a false sense of clarity.

You start believing:

• Good partner = all green flags

• Bad partner = any red flag

But reality is, we all are a mixture of red and green flags in different proportions. Someone can have 80% good things and 20% bad things and vice versa.

Social Media vs Real Life: The Expectation Gap

Social media sells you an ideal partner. We see reels where they tell you he needs to be emotionally expressive, always available, always perfect.

But real life doesn’t work like that.

People can be busy with work, express emotions differently, or sometimes have low self-esteem. That doesn’t automatically make them toxic.

The danger is you start rejecting real people because they don’t match internet standards.

Not Everyone Loves the Same Way (And That’s Okay)

Not everyone writes long paragraphs. Not everyone makes grand romantic gestures.

Some people show love by:

• Showing up when it matters

• Being quietly supportive

• Letting their guard down (which is HARD)

Just because someone isn’t expressive in a “social media way” doesn’t mean they don’t care.

Sometimes, actions are louder than aesthetic words. And I have experienced it myself. I’ve seen people who are not good with words, but they understand me deeply. I don’t even need to speak or express.

Real Relationships Are Messy, Like a Forest

Let me deinfluence you from expecting a “green forest” personality in a guy.

A real relationship is like a forest, not a perfectly curated Instagram garden but a wild, natural forest.

It has:

• Dry leaves

• Uneven ground

• Imperfections everywhere

And that’s exactly what makes it real.

If you expect perfection, you’re not looking for love, you’re looking for a fantasy. And my friend, yes, I also love book boyfriends—but they are not real.

Real people are going to come with all kinds of moods, things, expressions, love.

Before Calling Them a Red Flag… Look at Yourself

It’s easy to sit back and analyze someone else:

• “They don’t communicate well.”

• “They’re emotionally unavailable.”

But ask yourself:

• What about me?

• Am I a green forest?

• Do I not have a single red flag?

Because the truth is:

• You have red flags

• I have red flags

• Everyone does

Healthy relationships aren’t about being perfect—they’re about being aware and willing to grow.

Stop Dating Checklists. Start Knowing People

Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to just interact.

Instead of:

• Observing

• Understanding

• Connecting

We started:

• Scoring people

• Categorizing them

• Rejecting them too quickly

People aren’t resumes. They are real people. You are not getting them for a job—you are getting them for a life. You need to look at relationships with that perspective.

Love Isn’t a Checklist

Imagine a guy starts behaving performatively just to pass the test in front of you. How would you feel about that?

Do you think he is true to himself? And if he is not true to himself, do you think he is going to be true to you?

You don’t need a “perfect green flag partner.”

You need someone:

• Who tries

• Who respects you

• Who grows with you

• And who is real with you

Because real love isn’t flawless.
It’s honest. It’s imperfect. And that’s what makes it meaningful.

Be Real, Not Ideal

Social media will keep telling you what to look for. But let me tell you my dear friend, no one is perfect. Look in the mirror, you are also not. And that’s okay. That’s completely okay.

But maybe the better question is:

Can you accept someone as they are while growing together?

Because at the end of the day, the best relationships aren’t built on labels… they’re built on understanding.

Lately, there’s been a growing conversation online:

“Women are becoming too masculine.”
“And that’s why dating isn’t working anymore.”

We see some bald people sitting in podcasts talking about how modern women are not feminine enough. We see divine feminine YouTube meditations. How-to-be-divine-feminine courses on Udemy.

And when we get bombarded by this kind of content, we start thinking: 

Is this true? Am I not feminine enough? We start questioning what we see in the mirror.

But is that really true or are we just misunderstanding what’s actually happening?

In this blog, let’s explore this idea, breaking down how modern life, career pressures, and social expectations are reshaping what we call masculine and feminine energy.

The Rise of “Masculine Energy” in Women

Today’s women are more independent than before.

They are:

• Building careers

• Making their own decisions

• Navigating competitive environments

And in many cases, that requires traits traditionally labeled as “masculine,” like:

• Assertiveness

• Confidence

• Leadership

But here’s the key point:

This shift isn’t random, it’s a response to reality.

You think you can work in a male-dominated field being shy? No girl, you have to have authority. You need confidence. Do you think your team is going to listen to you because you are divine feminine? You need leadership, you need assertiveness.

Does This Affect Dating and Relationships?

“Oh, but if the woman is too strong in the relationship, it never lasts,” I think they are saying.

If the woman is stronger, and the other person is not able to digest it, then it can create problems.

When both partners bring dominant, strong-willed energy, it can sometimes lead to:

• Power struggles

• Ego clashes

• Difficulty in emotional connection

But it’s important to be honest here:

The issue isn’t that women are “too masculine.” The issue is compatibility and emotional balance.

Two people with similar strong personalities can still work if there’s mutual respect, communication, and willingness to make it work.

I have seen this pattern where people don’t want to adjust because there are a lot of options. My friend, if you are like this, you’re gonna stay single for eternity.

You have to adjust with someone; that’s how the world works. It’s your choice who that someone is.

Your Environment Shapes Who You Become

So I grew up in a slum area. We used to live in a chawl. I have seen the strongest and most unbothered women there. They can’t rely on divine feminine energy because they have to work hard to get money for food for their children. It’s hard out there.

Sometimes, being:

• Loud

• Assertive

• Guarded

…isn’t a personality choice, it’s survival.

You adapt to:

• Protect yourself

• Be heard

• Be respected

And those traits don’t just disappear when you enter relationships.

Now I have also had a friend who was always treated like a princess, had a diamond ring on her hand, very rich, and she used to behave totally differently than those women in the slum. 

For her, the world was her fairytale. But this was not the case for the women in the slum they used to struggle even to feed their children daily.

Assertiveness Is Not the Problem

Let’s clear a common misconception:

Being assertive doesn’t make someone less feminine.
Having strong opinions doesn’t make someone “difficult.”

So please hear me out:

• Stand your ground

• Make independent decisions

• Don’t shrink yourself to fit expectations

Because confidence is not a flaw, it’s a strength.

Labels and Expectations

A big issue isn’t behavior, it’s how we label it.

When a man is assertive, he’s called:

• Strong

• Decisive

When a woman shows the same traits, she’s often labeled:

• Aggressive

• Too much

• “Masculine”

This double standard creates unnecessary pressure on everyone. Even men in society label confident women as dominant.

Be Yourself, Not What Society Expects

Stop trying to fit into predefined roles.

You don’t need to:

• Act more “feminine”

• Tone yourself down

• Dress or behave a certain way to be accepted

Instead:

• Be authentic

• Express yourself freely

• Build a life that feels right to you

Because the right people won’t be intimidated by you they’ll understand you.

What Actually Matters in Relationships?

At the end of the day, successful relationships aren’t about:

• Masculine vs feminine energy

• Dominance vs softness

They’re about:

• Emotional intelligence

• Respect

• Communication

• Compatibility

You don’t need to become someone else to find love.

You just need to find someone who aligns with who you already are.

It’s About Balance

The conversation around “masculine women” is often oversimplified.

What we’re really seeing is:

• Women adapting

• Society evolving

• Roles becoming more fluid

And that’s not a problem, it’s progress.

Instead of asking:
“Am I too masculine?”

Ask:
“Am I being true to myself?”

Because in the long run, authenticity will always attract the right kind of connection.

Arranged marriage decisions often happen fast.

You meet someone once or twice…
Families get involved…
And suddenly, you’re expected to say yes or no to a life-changing decision.

It’s overwhelming—especially when your parents or relatives are convinced about him because of his salary check.

I’ve faced this problem in my life when I was in the arranged marriage talk phase. You might have watched my story time videos on YouTube or read it here on the blog.

When I was talking about this with a friend, she mentioned this question to me—and I got stuck on it. We’re going to discuss that today.

The One Question You Must Ask Yourself

Before you say yes to an arranged marriage, ask yourself:

“Do I truly see my future with this person?”

Not just a wedding. Not just a few months.

A life.

Take It One Step Deeper (This Changes Everything)

Here’s where most people stop but you shouldn’t.

Ask yourself:

Can I imagine having children with this person?
Would they be a good father (or partner in responsibility)?

Even if you don’t want kids, this question reveals something deeper:

• Their values

• Their behavior

• Their emotional maturity

• How they treat others

You will understand whether you really think he is a good match or not with this simple question. And it’s not just about children, it’s about your inner child. You’ll see how your inner child feels around this person.

The Pressure Is Real But So Are the Consequences

In many families, especially in India, saying yes isn’t always just your decision.

There’s pressure from:

• Parents

• Relatives

• Society

And as women, there’s often conditioning to:

• Adjust

• Compromise

• Prioritize others

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You are the one who has to live that life not them. Your parents will not bear the consequences of marrying the person, but you surely will.

Saying “No” Is Hard, But Regret Is Harder

Rejecting a proposal can feel terrifying.

You might face:

• Emotional pressure

• Arguments at home

• Guilt

But compare that to:

• Being stuck in a marriage you weren’t sure about

• Living with doubt every day

One moment of courage can save you years of regret.

Why Financial Independence Changes Everything

Most marriages happen due to financial security.

When you’re financially independent:

• You don’t feel forced to say yes for security

• You can focus on who the person is, not just what they earn

• You gain confidence in your decisions

It shifts your mindset from:
“Is he financially stable?”
to
“Is he right for me?”

You start thinking about other areas of his life, not just his bank balance.

Trust Yourself More Than the Noise Around You

At the end of the day, no checklist or advice can replace your intuition.

If something feels off don’t ignore it.
If something feels right explore it honestly.

Your instinct is not your enemy. It’s your guide. Always trust your gut your body knows more than your eyes can see. It’s going to give you signals; you better listen to it.

How Do You Know If It’s a Yes?

It’s not about finding a perfect person.

It’s about asking:

• Do I feel comfortable being myself?

• Do I respect this person?

• Can I build a life with them not just a wedding?

If the answer isn’t clear, it’s okay to wait.

Choose Your Life, Not Just a Match

Arranged marriage is not just a family decision, it’s your life.

You don’t owe anyone a yes.

You owe yourself:

• Clarity

• Peace

• A future you won’t regret

So take your time. Ask the hard questions.

And most importantly

Choose a life you can actually live, not one you were pressured into.