How I Regulated My Nervous System After Heartbreak (4 Techniques That Helped Me)

                                      

My heart was aching because of all the emotions I was feeling.

At that moment, I genuinely felt like all those memes saying “the world is going to end in 2026” should actually become true right then. I was in a completely different zone.

Did I like what I was going through? No.

So what did I do to change it?

I decided to ignore the pain. I decided that I would keep myself so busy that the pain wouldn’t affect me at all.

I started making a content plan for my YouTube channel.

If you haven’t subscribed to my YouTube channel yet, this is your time to do it.

I started working out. I began doing a lot of courses.

I even got the idea for this blog during that time.

I tried to do everything possible to distract myself. 

My chest would start aching in between, but I kept ignoring it.

I told my mom about it, and she said it might be acidity. I also convinced myself that it was probably acidity.

But even when I was doing everything “right,” it was still very difficult for me to feel happy in that moment.

I was having a hard time dealing with my feelings.

The Moment I Finally Sat With My Feelings

And then one day, I just sat on the terrace with my feelings.

I felt terrified. I felt very different.

I didn’t understand the meaning of these feelings, but I tried to stay calm.

For the first time, I was trying to understand all those unsaid emotions within me.

My sleep schedule was completely disturbed. I was sleeping at 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. and waking up at 9 a.m., 10 a.m., or even 11 a.m.

I would start crying even while watching something good. My emotions were all over the place.

And I kept asking myself why?

I had met this guy only two weeks before. And that’s not a long time.

So why was I feeling so attached?

I searched about it and learned something interesting: time doesn’t always determine attachment. Sometimes the emotional intensity of a short connection can create a strong bond.

That made me understand something very important.

You can get attached to someone even in a short period of time. 

It doesn’t depend on time, it depends on the people involved and the bond you share.

Realizing I Was Missing the Feeling, Not the Person

With this guy, all the red flag things were very subtle, almost non existent.

But somehow, I was still feeling a void when he wasn’t around.

Then I tried installing a dating app again.

I matched with many people.

But just like before, I didn’t feel good talking to others.

That was my first stupidity.

If you really want a distraction, do anything but don’t go to another person just to forget the first one.

I talked to someone, and within ten minutes of the conversation, I realized what I was doing.

I immediately uninstalled the app.

It felt like I had just woken up from a nightmare.

Finally, I decided to sit with my feelings and talk about everything honestly with myself.

And that’s when I understood something important.

I was not missing the person.

I was missing the way I was being treated.

Once I understood that, I started looking for ways to turn this heartache into something normal again.

Understanding What Was Happening in My Body

When I started researching what I was feeling, I came across something called nervous system regulation.

Our nervous system controls how our body responds to stress, emotions, and safety.

According to psychology and neuroscience research, our body mainly operates in two important states:

Fight-or-flight

Rest-and-digest

When we feel emotionally unsafe because of rejection, uncertainty, heartbreak, or stress our brain interprets it as a threat.

The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting danger, becomes very active.

This activates the fight-or-flight response and releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

This is why emotional pain can feel very physical.

Some common symptoms include:

chest tightness

racing heart

overthinking

difficulty sleeping

sudden crying

constant anxiety

Research also shows that emotional rejection activates the same brain regions that respond to physical pain.

This is why heartbreak can literally feel painful in your body.

When the nervous system stays in this stress response for too long, the body struggles to return to a calm state.

We can use nervous system regulation techniques to calm out brain and mind.

Techniques That Helped Me Regulate My Nervous System

Once I understood that my body was simply responding to emotional stress, 

I started using a few techniques to regulate my nervous system.

These are the practices that helped me the most.

1. Vipassana Meditation

This was not new for me.

I have attended two 10-day Vipassana meditation courses at Dhamma Giri. I started practicing Vipassana at a young age, and it has slowly become a second habit for me.

During this time, I started doing Anapana meditation daily.

It helped me observe my thoughts instead of reacting to them immediately.

Instead of suppressing my emotions, I was simply noticing them.

Vipassana teaches a powerful truth:

Everything is temporary, even emotions.

If you want to know more about Vipassana, you can watch my YouTube video where I share my personal experience.

2. EFT Tapping

Our body stores stress and emotions in certain energy points.

When I learned about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), I realized that emotional pain is not just in our mind, it is also stored in our body.

EFT works by gently tapping on specific meridian points while acknowledging the emotion you are feeling.

Instead of suppressing the feeling, you allow yourself to experience it while calming your nervous system at the same time.

At first, it felt strange.

But after practicing it consistently, I noticed the heaviness in my chest slowly reducing after tapping sessions.

The idea behind EFT is that tapping sends calming signals to the brain.

I started my EFT tapping journey with guided videos and slowly made it a regular practice whenever I felt overwhelmed.

3. Somatic Exercises

Somatic exercises help release the stored stress from the body.

Some simple practices I tried were:

slow stretching

shaking out tension from my body

deep breathing

grounding exercises

mindful walking

Sometimes I would simply lie down, place my hand on my chest, and take slow breaths.

Other times I would go for a slow walk and focus only on my breathing and my steps.

These exercises helped signal to my nervous system that I was safe again.

And when the body starts feeling safe, the mind slowly follows.

4. Journaling

Journaling helped me understand all the unsaid things within me.

How I felt.

Where I went wrong.

What I ignored.

What I needed emotionally.

I wrote down everything honestly.

It helped me process my emotions instead of carrying them inside my body.

Slowly Things Started Changing

I started making time for myself.

I went for walks.

I gave my time to simple, normal activities.

And honestly, after some days, the pain in my chest started reducing.

It definitely wasn’t acidity.

It was anxiety that I had been holding onto.

When I understood this through my own experience, feelings, and thoughts, I started making changes in my behavior.

And slowly, I began to see results in my life.

If You Are Going Through Something Similar

I am writing this blog for anyone who might be going through something similar.

Let me tell you something important:

You are not alone girl.

Healing takes time.

Understanding your emotions takes courage.

But once you start listening to yourself, life slowly starts changing.

I also realized something very important.

It was never really about the other person.

It was about me.

About what I think of myself.

About whether I feel safe within myself.

The other person is not responsible for your feelings.

Sometimes we give people permission to hurt us or behave in ways that affect us deeply.

But once you take back that permission, life becomes much easier.

And I will talk more about this in Part 3.